Tomorrow's Big Race

Is not so much of a BIG race really.

But it will be my first race.

Finally.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t more than a tad nervous.

I always get nervous when I have to perform on any level. When I’m tested.

Whether it be with school, work or play.

I don’t want to fail at anything.

“Just do it for the tee shirt!”

That’s what my best running friends will tell me.

Marathon runners and tri-athletes.

Yeah.

They do it for the tee shirts.

Sure.

Getting sick before Gate River Run was such a huge disappointment, not being able to participate in that race after I had worked so hard.

So hard, that I made myself sick.

Oh well, it was the race that really got me motivated to run in the first place.

So it wasn’t a loss.

This is actually a pretty emotional thing for me.

Running.

I really hate running at times, often while it’s happening.

In intervals of 3 to 5 minute periods.

Lately, when my feet are pounding against the pavement, I’m thinking,

“I hate this!”

I want to stop where I’m at and walk home.

But I don’t.

My favorite thing to say to myself when I’m running, and the fire inches up my calves and into my thighs is,

“If this was easy… everyone would do it.”

And two years ago, there was no way in the world that I was physically capable of running.

I was so overweight and out of shape that a few short steps put me out of breath. Running would be a nightmare.

Yet here I am.

I think of what I must look like, shuffling down the sidewalks in my neighborhood, one foot in front of the other.

My thighs jiggling from where all that extra fat used to be.

I hope I look determined.

If nothing else, I’m sure I looked pained!

I feel more blessed than you can ever even imagine being where I am right now.

Thin.

God.

That sounds crazy to all you lifelong skinny’s (No offense, most of my best friends are all size zeros!)

Sometimes, when I’m running, I will get choked up because it’s still so surreal to me, that my body can do these things.

Most of my life I had been told I couldn’t.

I run because I can.

Not because I love it, but because God gave me the ability to.

It’s amazing to me.

This is what I wanted for so long, and now I have it.

It’s still so much work!

Ha!

But I love that feeling, when I round the corner and I can see my house.

I know that my run is almost over.

I think,

“I’ve done it again.”

My body is strong now.

Tomorrow is an important day for me.

I may place last, but I’ll place.

Pouring sweat and with a smile.